Thursday, 30 August 2012

Look below the surface before judging.

It's actually quite amazing how disagreeing with some well known bloggers about their small mindedness when it comes to disability should make me such an ostracised character in those smaller circles.

I know that there really is nothing to worry about by the fact that people seem to think it's ok to jump right down the throat of anyone who seems even remotely different from anyone else, but how that can possibly be sensible, fun, or worth a full day of debate and angst is completely against my better nature.

I don't miss the Twitter conversations with those who were vociferous in calling a child they don't know lots of names and also call the parents all sorts of bad for having the audacity to have an issue that nobody really knew existed at all.

I resisted blogging about this on the blog where I am more well known, as I don't think that standing up for the unknown family did me any favours at all.

Should I care?

In this space, I can say what I like, but on the other one, I have to be more politically correct and say the right things.  It shouldn't be like that, but it is.

My own special needs child who needs both constant supervision and is difficult to live with could well have me responsible for doing something that I shouldn't.

This post is pretty much dedicated to the small minded of our population who automatically assume that just because a child is badly behaved and the mother is frazzled, that there could well be far more going on below the surface that you realise.

Please look below the surface before judging.


  1. I agree; when will people ever learn that there is so much more to what you see. Disability isn't always an obvious physical impairment and neither is it due to poor parenting.

    In the spirit of the paralympics let us hope that people can pause for a moment and think about disability in its wider sense and offer support to those in need. Because one day it could be them or their children, affected by a brain disorder that causes them to behave in ways that are deemed socially unacceptable. Deb

    1. Some of the public outcries are so scary. It's how bad behaviour is always seen as the fault of the parents. I've gone up to parents and asked them to take control of a situation that's deteriorating, but I'd never slag off someone I've never rant on about how someone was such a bad parent when I didn't know them.

      Venting and sympathising with someone is one thing, but the out and out vitriol will probably have scarred me for the rest of my natural born.

      Sadly, the paralympics is almost all physically disabled rather than mentally or learning difficulties, so it will probably do little to help the status of kids who struggle with their brains this time round.

      They were completely banned in about 1996 I think from the Paralympics in a blanket ban after some cheating by a team. They were allowed to be reintroduced at this games, but there were only 6 I think in the whole UK team as there are so few categories who have been able to get the critera for acceptance into the sport. The conditions for determining what a learning difficult is, are quite lengthy.

  2. Totally. It's something many people with "perfect kids" just refuse to do. Ignorance is never bliss when it comes to special needs and disabilities.

    CJ x

    1. It's sad how many just assume that all kids who behave badly are inherently bad.


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